My Chains Are Gone

Since I was a little girl, I've dealt with not know who I really was, but allowing myself to be defined by who others wanted to me.  Recently I had an opportunity to face my biggest fear, the person that I let define me more than anyone.  I was angry at this person for many years.  I didn't talk to them.  I wanted nothing to do with them.  Just the sight of them and I went into an all out panic attack.  I had completely let them take over my life.  I was scared to step out of the shadows and allow them to see who I really was.  Honestly, I have no idea why I didn't want them to see the real me, but I was scared.  What would happen if they didn't like me for who I was?  How much more pain would they put me through if they didn't like the real me?  How much negativity would they say about me?  How much would I be put down?

Why did they tell me that I would never amount to anything, that I wasn't pretty enough, that I didn't have a good personality, that something must be wrong with me because I didn't date in high school?  Why wouldn't I be terrified for them to know the real me?

Truth is, I lived in fear for so long.  I didn't know who I was.  I knew  the me living in fear of what they would think of me.

Several months ago, I had to face my fears and come face to face with this person.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  However, it was the best thing I've ever done.

I feel free!!  I've been set free from my past.  I've been set free from my pain.  I've been set free from my worry.  I've been set free from my fears.  

I have finally found the real me.  I know who I am.  I'm happy with who I am.  I can accomplish what I set out to do.  There's no one holding me down any more.

Since I've freed myself from my past, God keeps showing me amazing things.  Things that I'm not even seeking.  He's putting amazing things right in front of me and telling me to go for it.  I now know that I can do it!  He keeps putting amazing opportunities in front of me.  Opportunities that I never thought possible for myself.  Opportunities that I used to make excuses about because I thought I wasn't good enough.  

Now, I see those opportunities through different eyes.  I see that I can accomplish any and everything God puts in front of me.  And He sure keeps putting amazing things right in my path.

Through all of this, I'm reminded of a song lyric from Chris Tomlin's song "Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)".

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

And like a flood His mercy reigns

Unending love, Amazing Grace

My chains that have been holding me down for so long are gone!  They are finally gone!  I have been set free.  And yes, God has ransomed me.  And every single day He is showing me his mercy, His unending love, His amazing grace!  

It's amazing that when you free yourself from what's been holding you down for so long that God comes in and opens up a world of opportunity for you.  I've never been so happy.  I know the real me!  I can be the real me!  I have no fear!  I know exactly who I am!  And I am happy!!!