Day 6: Letting People In

I love watching the show Tough Love on VH1.  Why?  Because it really digs deep into these people's lives to see why they are the way they are in relationships.  

So it got me thinking.  And I guess it's time for me to dig deep too.

At age 4 my parents got divorced.  Apparently I was a very talkative kid my first 4 years, but after that I only talked to certain people.  And I talked a lot to those people.  I never talked at school.  I was this quiet shy kid.  Once a teacher even asked my mom if I talked.  To which she informed her that I never shut up!

Growing up I didn't want to break out of that shy shell.  I'm not 100% sure why.  Maybe it's because I was afraid to let people in.  And maybe it's because I was so disappointed in my dad for leaving me and my mom.  Maybe I was afraid to let people in because I was scared that they would let me down too.  That they would disappoint me too.  That they would make fun of me.  That they would tell me I wasn't good enough.  That they would tell me that I wasn't pretty enough.  That I wouldn't fit in.

So I withdrew from people.  Don't get me wrong, I had a great core group of friends and they really did know me and I knew them.  But I didn't want to let any others in.  I was happy living on the sidelines.  It saved me from the craziness of life.  I wasn't with the party crowd.  I was me.  A wallflower.  And I was happy with that.  Well, kind of...  I always envied those who were pretty and had tons of friends and had all they wanted in life.

But now that I look back, I'm glad I was the way that I was.  I'm glad I didn't have that wild streak.  I'm glad I didn't let more people in that would only hurt me.  I'm glad I didn't get caught up in all the crazy drama in life.  I'm just happy I was me!

But how does this effect me in relationships now?  It affects me because I'm scared to let people in.  I'm terrified of being hurt by them.  I'm terrified of someone walking out of my life again.  I put up a shield that I don't let people get through until I completely get to know someone and know they won't hurt me.  I'm not just talking relationships with guys, I'm talking relationships with people in general....just friendships even.

How do I get past this?  I don't know 100%.  This is still a work in progress for me.

But I do know this.  It sure saves you from the hurt!

Tell me....any of you who have gone through something similar....how did you get past that?  How do you let people in?  Or is it okay not to let that many in?  I'd love your feedback on this one.


31 Days
Day 5: Throw Timelines Out the Window
Day 4: You Have to Want It
Day 3: Power of Positive Thinking
Day 2: Beautiful Beginnings
Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

Day 5: Throw Timelines Out The Window

I know there are some timelines that are great to have.  Like professional goals.  But when it comes to life, sometimes it's best to throw the timeline out the window.

Growing up, I knew I was going to go to college and meet the love of my life.  I'd get married right after college at age 21 or 22.  Then I'd have my first kid by the age of 25.  Seemed doable, right?!  Wrong!

So when age 25 came and I hadn't even met the love of my life, I told myself that I have 5 years until I'm 30.  Surely I can reach my goal in 5 years, right?!  Yet again....wrong.

For the months leading up to my 30th birthday, I was depressed.  For no reason other than I hadn't reached my goal.

After that birthday, I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself!  Why was I putting a timeline on my happily ever after?  Shouldn't I want to wait for the right time with the right guy?  I don't want to just end up with some guy because he fit into my timeline.  I want to end up with the right guy...even if it takes several more years of waiting.

I want my happily ever after, but with the guy that God has chosen for me in the time God has chosen.

Who knows if I've already met the love of my life (maybe so!) or if I'm still waiting to meet him.  But who needs a timeline?  And why do I need that much pressure on myself?

So I've thrown my timeline out the window!  And I've never been happier!!

What about you?  What timeline have you thrown out your window?


31 Days
Day 4: You Have to Want It
Day 3: The Power of Positive Thinking
Day 2: Beautiful Beginnings
Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

Day 4: You Have to Want It

One big lesson I've learned is that you, yourself, have to want to be happy!  Happiness and contentment doesn't just happen.  You have to have a desire for it.  You have to seek it out.

The world today is filled with so much negativity.  In order to have positive thoughts and positive actions, you have to put positives in your life.  That means positive quotes, positive people, positive situations.  Whatever you can put in your life that's positive, it will reflect through you.

Just in the same way that negativity can reflect through you.  

I don't know about you, but I'd rather someone see positiveness in me than negativeness any day.

For years I was around negative people all the time.  It completely affected who I was.  I became such a negative person.  I was never happy with anything in life.

It took a pretty traumatic event in my life for me to wake up and see that I needed happiness.  My friend was shot in the head.  Thankfully, he lived.  I spent days and weeks thinking about if he hadn't of lived how I would have felt so guilty.  Guilty because I didn't make time for him.  I wasn't there when he needed someone to talk to.  And when I was, I didn't have positive things to say.  I had filled my life with some of the most negative people I've ever known.  I was working at a job that continually brought me down.  I wasn't happy at all.

That one experience help me seek out positiveness in my life.  I quit my job and found a new one.  I put myself around only people I trusted.  I kept to myself a lot more than I ever had.  I did some soul searching.  I asked why this happened to him.  I tried to understand it, but I couldn't.  Even though I had taken the negative out of my life, I was wrapped up in the why's of it all.

The best thing happen when in one moment I realized that I couldn't change a thing.  I couldn't change the outcome.  I will never understand it.  I will never make sense of it.  Why?  Because you can't make sense of senselessness.  I accepted it.  I quit dwelling on it.  And I started moving forward.  I started seeing the world in a different light.

There's nothing that can be done to change what happened.  But I can choose to be grateful.  I can be extremely grateful that nothing worse happened.  I can be grateful that he's alive.  I can be grateful that God saw a reason to keep him here on this earth.

I can take this one experience and turn this into a positive thing.  Why?  Because I WANT it!  I want to be happy!!!  I want to find the joy in everything we face in life.  I want to find positiveness in all of life's adventures.

I want happy!!!

What about you?  Do you want happiness in your life?  Are you taking steps to get there?


31 Days
Day 3: Power of Positive Thinking
Day 2: Beautiful Beginnings
Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

Apology

I must apologize.  Life got a little hectic and I got a little tired.  And it's hard to really express what's on your mind when it's so jumbled.

I know I took this 31 Day Challenge and believe it or not, I do intend to write on my life for 31 days.  Yes, I've missed several days.  I'm not going to try to catch up real quick.  Instead, I'm still going to write from my heart for 31 days.  It might not be consecutive, but I'm going to finish this challenge.  

I never knew this would be so hard for me.  It's putting myself out there.  And it's beyond scary.

But I keep reminding myself that when I finally put myself out there, I got the best thing that ever happened to me.  So I know I this is good for me.  And I know I need to do this.  And not just for me.  One of you out there might need to hear this too.

So I'm going to press forward.  I'm not running from this.  I'm going to face this head on and come out stronger on the other side!

Day 3: Power of Positive Thinking

One thing I've learned a lot lately is that positive thinking really does make you have a positive attitude.

I've really been listening to Joel Osteen a lot lately.  His positive energy is extremely catchy.

I love telling myself I can.  I love telling myself that nothing is out of my reach.  I love telling myself that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.

The point is, all the positive thoughts I put in my head lead to happiness.

There is so much negativity in this world.  So much negativity in day to day life.  Negativity in almost everyone you talk to.  There are actually people who put negativity into your life to make themselves feel better.

But what I've noticed is that thinking positive can keep you from that negativity.  By thinking that you can achieve anything, you realize that you actually can!  By thinking positive, you see yourself in a good light.  You see yourself for who you are!  You see YOU!

I now see me for who I really am.  I keep my head held high and I know that if I keep telling myself what I can achieve, I can go far in life.  I can be happy.  I can be happy with ME!!

So what about you?  Are you keeping positive thoughts in your head?

Day 2: Beautiful Beginnings
Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

Day 2: Beautiful Beginnings

This year I had the joy of going to the first ever MiA Bath and Body Beautiful Beginnings weekend in Salt Lake City, UT.  I learned so much in those few days.  But what I learned far exceeded their product line.  I learned about me.

Above is a picture of my favorite quote of the weekend.  Stephanie Appleton, founder of MiA Bath and Body, couldn't have said it any better.  Every caterpillar turns into a butterfly.  Think about it.  Are caterpillar's beautiful?  Not at all.  But butterflies?  Absolutely!  And look how gracefully they fly through the air.

The ugly goes a away and makes way for a beautiful new life.

This quote was so fitting to my life.  I feel like for years that I was that ugly caterpillar.  I spent way too long living depressed, feeling ugly, feeling defined by those around me, feeling discouraged, feeling not good enough.

After facing my biggest fear, I feel like my world was opened up.  I feel like I became that butterfly.  I feel like I gracefully fly through life now.  Well....maybe graceful isn't the best word....I don't do too much that gracefully!  Ha!  But I digress.  I feel like that butterfly that everyone notices for the right reasons.

The days of excuses are over.  The days of depression are over.  The days of feeling like a failure are over.  The days of not feeling good enough for anyone are over.

The new me has emerged.  And I'm stronger than I've ever been.  I'm happier than I've ever been.  I'm more me than I've ever been!

Have you had your own journey from a caterpillar to a butterfly?  How does it feel?  Are you as happy with life as I am?


31 Days
Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

Interested in MiA Bath and Body?  Check out our products:  http://www.michellecasey.miabathandbody.com/

Day 1: The Past Can Hurt You...If You Let It

It's true.  The past can hurt you but only if you let it.

For years, I let my past hurt me.  I even let it define me.  I was miserable.  I didn't know who I was.  I wasn't happy.  I thought I was worthless.  I thought I couldn't amount to anything.  I let my past make me out to be the victim.

This year, I came to terms with my past.  I faced my fears head on. Was it scary?  Absolutely.  It was the scariest thing I've ever done.  

But it made me so much stronger.  I no longer live in fear.  I have faced the fact that only I can hold myself back.  No one else can.  I'm my own stumbling block.  

Because of my fears to move forward in life for so long, I was my own worst enemy.  

I didn't like myself.  I don't even think I loved myself.  I didn't think I was good enough for anyone.  What guy would want me?  I'm not pretty enough.  I'm not smart enough.  I don't have a good job.  I can't do things on my own.  I can't make a decision to save my life.  And if I do, I'm pretty sure it's going to be wrong.

Well guess what?  When I realized it was ME that was telling myself this, I stopped.  I started telling myself that I could.  I'm smart.  I'm pretty.  I have a good job.  I can do things on my own.  I can make a decision and who cares if someone doesn't like it.  I'm ME and I love me.  I even think some guy is going to be pretty happy to have me in their life someday.  

I quit letting my past hurt me.  And I'm so grateful that I did!

What about you?  Are you letting your past define you?  Have you looked inside and realized just how wonderful you are?  Are you truly happy with you?!

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/9587641/?claim=dpfjn2tpm56">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

The October 31 Day Challange

Every October, bloggers are issued this challenge:

Blog every single day in the month of October about a particular topic.

Bloggers blog about anything.  From 31 days of DIY projects to Pinterest recipes to Disney World tips to favorite vacation spots to finding happiness to living in patience to becoming themselves.

I thought long and hard.  What would I want to write about for 31 days?  What have I learned this year?  What has happened this year that's shaped me into who I am?  The good, the bad and the in between.

So there it was...not necessarily what I've learned THIS year, but what my LIFE has taught me so far and what I continue to learn.

Sometimes I think it's good to go back and realize how you got to where you are today.  That's exactly what I plan to do for the next 31 days.

Feel free to join me on this journey.  Give me feedback.  Tell me how your life has been changed too.